Changes

We moved my dad from an independent living facility, that he’d only been in since May, into an assisted living situation a few weeks ago. We also, meaning mostly my sister, cleaned out his house and sold it in the last month, thankfully before it even went on the market. Dad has had a lot of changes in these last few months, not to mention the last couple of years. On Friday I had lunch with him in his dining hall (this is a little like a college dorm—but with extra help), and then yesterday I took him to a doctor’s appointment. I’ve been noticing that when it’s time for me to go, that he seems sad. He’ll ask me if I can stay and visit a little longer or ask when I’ll be back. He stops smiling and says he thinks he’ll take a nap. Yesterday, driving home, I decided that Dad looks the way I feel on the first day of school. My children are leaving me! I’m all alone! (And then I start writing and remember that being alone isn’t necessarily a bad thing.) Empathizing with how he feels helps me not to feel so torn. He doesn’t really expect me to stay; he just doesn’t want me to leave. I don’t expect my kids to stay, and ultimately I do want them to leave. Still, it can be a lonely feeling.